Baseball

I used to play baseball as a kid. I think my dad always thought one of his boys would end up playing for the NY Yankees someday. Man, I wish it was me. I digress. I friggin love Yankees baseball. They have been my team since the 1970's when I was born. Not really, I was born in the late 60's! I remember Lou Pinella, Mickey Rivers, Thurman Munson, Reggie, Goose Gossage, Chris Chambliss and so on and so on...

Nowadays, nobody can afford to attend a Yankees game. Since that is the case, I watch them on YES network as much as possible. The next best thing is to attend a minor league game at the Syracuse Chiefs. Believe it or not, this is usually a family trip for us. My wife and daughter love the ball park! As soon as we arrive, two large drafts for J and I. Alyse usually gets some cotton candy or ice cream. We went last week and they had some new additions to the menu this year. Alyse actually had a fried dough with the powdered sugar all over it! I had peanuts and a beer.

The Chiefs usually suck. I think I could take over at 2nd base and show them how to play the game. I bet I could hit the ball out of the park. I bet I could hit it over a mountain. If only coach would have put me in! Enough Uncle Rico!
Golf is in swing now. If only the weather would relax a bit. I swear I haven't golfed once without the jet stream on the course. I'm hoping tomorrow is better as I'm in for 36 holes. 18 starting at 7am and another 18 at 12:30. I have a breakfast tournament on Sunday too so I'm hoping my game will show up soon! I played in a stag day tourney last week and it was good until the last drunken hole where we effed it up and ended up in fourth, outside the $$$$. We still got a skin which paid our skins fee. Good news is I won $20 in pro shop credit by hitting the green on a 175 yard par 3 shot. At least I won something!

Manly Arizona

There's a new Sheriff in town pilgrim. I hope you ain't no illllllllleeeeeegal boy! I happen to LOVE the state of Arizona lately. Not only can you carry a firearm concealed anywhere in the state, you can carry it without a permit. That's right, whip it out wherever you want, whenever you want, and don't act like you are gonna do anything illegal to my shit, or I'll blow your ass away! That my friends is MAN LAND. No little girly men complaining that they don't have or want a firearm! Only real men allowed who can carry a holster AND a PBR!


On top of all that "crazy gun stuff", it is now really Illegal to be an illegal in that state. That's right my friends! There is no more, "illegals do the jobs that regular Americans won't do". Jobs are now available for only those who ARE actual Americans! Also, I believe Arizona is one of the few states left that is warm and also has NO state sales tax! I could actually golf there, carry a gun, shoot my caddy (if he were illegal and I thought he was stealing my clubs) and buy beers for my foursome with no sales tax! When can I move? They also have that Sheriff Joe guy, who makes inmates pedal bikes in the yard to generate enough electricity to watch TV! OMFG! It is America reborn!!!

Where I live now in NYS, I must pay $150 to get denied a carry permit for my pistol, pay a tax to buy ammo for it, leave it at home while I golf (or I'm the felon), let illegals work on the course while people leave the state due to a lack of jobs, shoot at dead stuff only, drink what beer I can still afford due to more taxes, pay more tax, pay more tax again and finish the day by paying more taxes. But hey, I should feel good for paying my "fair share" so illegals can get health care and welfare here. Can someone please tell me why I am still living in this state?

In celebration of the legality of being illegal in NYS, I am going to throw a party. I am serious. I am going to throw a Ocho de Mayo party. We can't do Cinco de Mayo due to the day of the week it falls on, because of our current employment status. If you are a friend, have a job and can still afford a dish to pass, I will provide cervesa and arriba, arriba, so that we can celebrate our state's tolerance of our illegal neighbors. I will even download some mariachi music for my Ipod to play. All the while, I will be dreaming of packing my S&W 40 cal. while I golf in beautiful Arizona!!

Are you really a democrat?

I'm going to post a real blog on politics. Let's say I have a friend/family member or two that vote democrat every time. Let's say that they have NO CLUE what they are doing. Let's say that they vote democrat because (a) they are wanna be hippies, (b) are real hippies that are now old and smelly, (c) pretend that they really care about people and think government can help with that, (d) or aren't racist, fascist, hater, tea bagger, retarded people (sarc.).

Let's say that they always report that the racist hater conservative neo-whatevers are always threatening Americans, American values and PEACE. Wasn't that the story with the 60's man? Aren't we all peace love and group sex man? Isn't life about PEACEFUL protest man? Isn't my love bus gassed and ready for a cross country trip man?

In reality, I am starting to read a lot more about the tea party group being a bunch of haters and violent protesters. I haven't seen many stories about actual arrests and such of these poor old grannies and grampies who want the 50's back. I must say I am reading a lot of stories about the old hippie haters coming out of the woodwork threatening to kill people like they did in the old days. Let's take this old goofy hippie hater and tell the story. Pidrman gave $250 to Hillary’s campaign in 2008. He threatened to kill a GOP representative and made the papers.

How about the couple on the right? Let's beat the shit out of them and break a woman's leg for being at a republican planning meeting in New Orleans! That's peace and love man! How about knock out his teeth, give him a concussion and yell derogatory terminology at them? Sounds like the 60's right man? Here's something more from the "democrats" in New Orleans to chew on...

…There was also an eight-page brochure the group put together that did not appear on the Facebook event page for the protest (since removed – there were 209 people who had RSVP’ed for the event and from that roster we found Mauch and Dubinsky), and that brochure was much more ominous. It listed several “Points of Unity,” among them being:

- The SRLC is not welcome in NOLA without a fuss
- Recognize healthcare as a basic human right
- Oppose police oppression, the prison-industrial complex, and the dominant culture of militarism
- Recognize the need for active resistance to confront all forms of oppression, respecting a diversity of tactics

The brochure also contained a map of the five hotels at which SRLC delegates were primarily staying, which is extremely disturbing.

Last but not least, a recent protester at a tea party event was identified as nobody more than a "democrat". One was identified as John Durajczyk, the Secretary of the St. Charles County Democratic Committee. John Durajczyk’s infiltrator pal, identified as Steve Belosi, attacked an elderly woman at the rally until she started to cry. Maybe I shouldn't believe NBC, CBS, ABC or CNN anymore when they tell me it was a "teabagger". Maybe I should actually look around to find the truth. I ain't no tea party member but I sure am looking at everything with a skeptical eye lately. I wish my friends and family would all do the same!

Fanny Pack Mayhem!

About a month ago, I learned that fanny packs are in use by A LOT of runners. I was attending a St. Patrick's Day race that my wife runs on Tip Hill in Syracuse every year now. My brother and I were of course enjoying delicious Irish beer on the deck of Coleman's Pub watching all of the tools run by in the race. I would guess approximately half of the field carried stuff in fanny packs. If you are wondering what a fanny pack is, this lovely gent is wearing one to cover up his Speedo.

Being a man and all, I wouldn't be caught in my coffin with one of these on (including the Speedo). However, our party after the run involved copious amounts of drinking and I had the opportunity to try one out. My new friend Norine wore one at the race and took a lot of heat from many of us about it. I snuck her fanny pack and put it on, running around the house like a fool. I think I got my picture taken but I hope not. If you are gonna wear a fanny pack, wear one like my golf partner Ron here in the lower right picture.

Notice Ron's first van behind him. It looks like a 1977 Volkswagon hippie ride. Seriously, that's not Ron but if he had a dream this would be it! I also found a very funny blog about fanny packs if you want a good laugh. It has a bunch of these silly pictures on the blog so some of you should check it out. http://www.fannypackphotos.com/index.php?categories=Funny

I have one last word on fanny packs. Norine, please purchase a fanny pack that we can't tell is a fanny pack. You will reduce your geekiness forever! Here is one that I picked out for you. You can even wear it at golf since it is such an awesome fashion statement! I hope you like it because it is what you are getting for your birthday from me!

Here is a guy on the PGA that you probably don't know. His name is YE Yang. I'm sure you want to know what YE stands for but I'll be damned if I can pronounce it, much less spell it. He is my dark horse calcutta pick for the Masters and cost us $40. My big $ pick was Ernie Els, who happened to implode #18 yesterday at Augusta, dropping two strokes to finish at -1. My dark horse is at -5.

Your next question I'm sure is "what the hell is a calcutta"? Let me explain. 50 drunk guys sit in the bar at the club. All of the drunk guys start bidding real money on who will win the tournament. The highest bid gets to pick the first person that the high bidder believes will win. Usually it is an obvious bid for Tiger. Last year he was the first choice at $460. This year he was again the first choice but at a much discounted $360. I'm guessing that he wasn't as expensive because of the economy. NOT! I think it had more to do with his new lack of "ball striking" with his mistresses.

I believe that the total pot in the calcutta is around $5,000. It pays something like 25% to the winner, 18% for 2nd place, 14%, then 10%, 8% and 5% to each of the final top ten finishers. If you spend a lot for a player, he better finish in the top 3 or you lose money. Ernie Els cost $340 so he better play better today! We also landed Dustin Johnson $140 (Ron's overpaid pick at -1), Ben Crane $40 (Ernie's pick at even par), Matt Kuchar $60 (my second dark horse at -2), Ryan Palmer $30 (Ernie at even par) and Heath Slocum $20 (Ernie pick at even par).

I'm wondering after the first round if I should have landed Tiger. He looked pretty good on the course and made some amazing shots. Of course he will get all of the TV time when he plays so he is always a good one to buy. Phil Mickelson may have been a better choice for our big money guy but Els has been playing very well and lefty hasn't been making any putts this season. I'm a little worried about Els because he typically doesn't play well at the masters. How about the older guys? Will Couple's repeat? Will Watson show up again today? If it wasn't about the calcutta $, I'd be rooting for Freddie! However, I picked my team, now I have to go with them.

Golf

I was just reading my new Golf Digest. Much to my surprise they had a story about outdated golf clubs. My driver is a new Cleveland Hi-bore from 2009. I also have a Cleveland Hi-bore 3 wood that is a 2009. My 5 wood is an older Ping 5 wood that I still love and hit relatively straight. I replaced my 4-iron with a hybrid Cleveland that I like. I wish I could replace the 3-iron with a hybrid but I don't have the ching to blow on that right now. I did treat myself to a new sand wedge before the new rounded grooves are in and the older sharp grooves disappear. I got a nice Volkey 54 degree which I have played with once so far. It had nice stopping and spinning action compared to my old worn out Ping sandy. My irons are very nice but I'm a bit afraid that I'm missing out on some technological advances that have been made recently. They are about 8 years old and blade type irons. My game would probably benefit a lot from a new set of mid-size irons with a little more forgiveness.

I would love a new set of Ping G15 irons. I can't spring the $699 for them. But, but, but, the MAGAZINE said I needed new irons honey!!!!!! I don't think that one will fly this time. I guess I'm still stuck suffering my game with the old Ping set. At least they are still semi-cool. The new clubs probably wouldn't help my 14.1 handicap anyway. It's my awful putting that really needs the help!

I had two sets of VERY outdated clubs before I passed them on to who knows who. I'm sure that my brother has one set because he still plays golf with them. They are ancient. He actually still has the wooden woods. His putter is the putter I bought for my best men almost 20 years ago but it is still an awesome wand. The funny thing is that he still plays them decently for the amount of times he plays every year. A new set and some golf time would make his game awesome like it was in the days of old.

I belong to a private club in Phoenix NY named Beaver Meadows. It is a real nice track and very well taken care of. The people that belong there are very cool and we have fun times. Our Master's party is upcoming Wednesday and we are doing a fun Calcutta. I need to do some research on who I will be "drafting". Of course, I will be playing 18 or 27 before the party so I'll have plenty of time to think about it. Ill let you know how it turns out. Any ideas on who I should draft, please feel free to comment below.

Summer Like Day

It's Good Friday. I am being a good Catholic this morning and I am fasting. At least for now. I don't know if I will make it until 3:30pm though since I plan on golfing at 1pm. That's right. Golfing. The wife and I are golfing with my golf partner Ron and his wife. Since this is not very manly, we will be adding beer and 1 irons to the mix. This will result in much man chatter and of course humiliation for the wives. For everyone's information, this is an excellent way to cure the disease of wives wanting to golf with you.

So what is a One Iron you are asking yourselves. It is an awesome drink, albeit a bit girly. It is made by: fill glass with ice, add two shots Smirnoff vodka, fill almost to the top with Fresca (cannot be substituted) and splash cranberry juice. Let's face it, it's pink, not a shot, not beer so it is for the women. Believe it or not, I have indulged in this drink on one occasion and can vouch for it's effectiveness with quenching the thirst on a hot day. It tastes A LOT like cotton candy. Give it a try. I will have BEER myself.

I need to bitch a bit about my golf partner. He is a RAGING partisan democrat. I have nothing against democrats. Just back up some arguments with facts instead of "you're a racist republican". The funny thing is that he doesn't even know that I'm not a republican. I'm more of a fiscal conservative with more moderate social values. We joke about it tons all of the time but it makes me wonder how he can have such one sided views without considering other opinions. He is also a Joey, which is a term I made up. He knows what it means and I don't need to elaborate. It must be in his blood since he is somehow related to the Cuomos from NYS politics.

Here is a link to a test that everyone should take. I think most people will be surprised with the outcome. Take the test and post below what the outcome was. Answer truthfully for every question.
http://www.politicalcompass.org/test