Golf Partners

Breakfast tournament is over. I had a wonderful time with the exception of one thing that always annoys me. Forced pairings suck. The problem is that in this tourney, the pro shop randomly chooses what tools, erm partners one gets stuck, I mean - saddled, I mean - play with. Needless to say, I got stuck with a doosey. He was such a tool box that when I was asked who I played with, I got the knowing nod of disapproval. It was one of those ooooooooooh that suckssssssssssss looks. I wont mention his name but I will say that the other two partners made it worthwhile.

Ok so here is the scene: we start on hole 3. I know one of my partners so we ride to hole 3 together from the clubhouse. I don't know the other two guys from a bag of beans. They show up in cart #2. One guy I hear is a "big hitter". He is fine and appropriately introduces himself with a handshake. The other guy lumbers from the cart and promptly introduces himself with the etiology of his last name. and shakes hands, laughing nervously and inappropriately the whole time. He then proceeds to talk to himself under his breath, scolding himself for already being such a douche bag. I got the feeling right away that I was glad I wasn't stuck riding with him. Our long hitter had to pay his dues riding with "the tool".

We start play and Big hitter proceeds to almost drive the green at 330 yards away uphill. The tool oohs and ahhs and duffs his first shot. He proceeds to tell Big hitter what he did wrong with his swing. Big hitter is gracious and brushes off the comment. I step up and The tool talks throughout my tee shot. I'm already annoyed. So it went for 16 holes. On the 16th hole I have had my fill. If it wasn't Sunday morning, I would have had 6 beers in me just to block out the annoyance that was playing with us.

On the 16th, Big hitter hit a major drive behind a small tree. Being a captain and crew tournament, you are allowed to move your ball one club, no closer to the hole. I say to The tool "move from behind that branch, it looks like you may hit it". The tool says "it's not in play" and then swings and hits the branch with his ball. I say" I guess it was in play!" I couldn't help myself. The tool almost cried. He then lumbered back to the cart with his coke bottle glasses, talking under his breath about some way he can kill me I'm sure. My other two partners quietly nodded their approval and promptly began giving The tool more shit. Big hitter asked if he could ride back to the clubhouse in our cart. It was that bad...

We ended up at 7 under, should've, could've, would've been 10 under at least if we had any peace that day. Maybe 12 under if we had beers on a Sunday morning!